I really do love writing, but when I’m put on the spot and the clock is ticking, it’s like a switch is flipped. I try to generate ideas, but it feels like the circuits are malfunctioning. I’m learning that God wants to use my actual real time experiences as a conduit for His ideas. So, here I am, embracing the dim lights of my mind and tuning in to the brightest light source, my heart.
I am willing to bet some of you, as you flipped the calendar to December or perhaps back in November, felt a flickering circuit of your own.
Norman Rockwell moments etched in your mind may have triggered the idea that your luminosity “should” be vibrant, yet you don’t feel that way. Unmet expectations become like the blown bulb on the string of Christmas lights and can halt Christmas Joy like power to the whole light strand.
Side note: “Expectations” often dress up and masquerade as lights.
This time of year, tension can creep in. Desiring to be jolly but instead, the Holly and the Jolly shine spotlights on things you’d rather keep concealed.
Maybe you try to mask the imbalance with an additional glass of wine, another plateful of cookies, a few more purchases and momentarily the tension subsides. However, if you’re mindful, you’re aware of the consequences of those choices: a headache, post-holiday diets and overtime to settle the credit card bills.
What if there’s another way? What if feeling out of sorts is an invitation to come closer?
Before you dismiss this idea, remember every light strand consists of beauty and brokenness, with some lights shining brightly and others not. It’s not an All or Nothing situation but both Beauty and Brokenness working together.
Imagine, much like inspecting each bulb when the entire string goes out, God is inviting you to bring each of your concerns to him. They may represent hurts, memories, inadequacies, loss, broken promises, longings, disappointments, questions, dreams, and more.
Would you let your strand be tended to by its designer? The one who understands you better than you understand yourself.
Or will you try to fix it on your own? Buy another strand, with someone else’s light bulbs so you can blend in and go undetected? Or will your entire tree lose its glow because of a few faulty bulbs.
When solving problems independently has been your modus operandi, letting God in requires a deliberate choice, but it’s possible and so worth it!
Just begin – take a small step. You don’t have to tackle the whole strand in one sitting. Ask God which bulb to focus on first. He has insight beyond our own.
It’s not a surprise that we experience this tension during Christmas. After all, Christmas is all about brokenness and beauty. The story begins with creation (Part 1) - everything was good as God desired. Man was in a perfectly attuned relationship with God, and God called it Very Good - BEAUTY.
However, with the gift of free will, man opted to chart his own course acting according to his own judgment, known as the Fall (Part 2). Man’s relationship with God, with himself, with others and with the earth in general became BROKEN – not in line with its original design.
God saw man (similar to a broken string of lights) and Jesus declared, “I’ll go fix it, send me! I yearn for a relationship with them so deeply that I’ll go and show them.” So, Jesus, being fully God, chose to step into humanity as a baby.
J.I. Packer talks about the incarnation in his book, “Knowing God”,It was not that Jesus reduced his deity to become human, but rather that his “divine capacities were restrained”.
Could there be anything more beautiful than God’s willingness to restrain his deity and come dwell in a human body for you? For me?
What lessons can you draw from Jesus in his willingness to restrain His deity?
Rather than disregarding feeling out of sorts and pretending it doesn’t matter, what if you approached Him sincerely and presented your strand, or at least some of your bulbs, in His presence?
Have a straightforward conversation with God. Let Him know what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling. Offer this part of you as a gift of honesty and LET Him sit with you as you unburden yourself.
He may offer insight, forgiveness, wisdom, love, hope or He might simply remain silent. Even in the silence He sees you. He knows you. And He desires a relationship with every aspect of your being. His commitment so intense, that he restrained his deity to be with you.
…Love came down…
As you experience His love, may you find and unwrap steadfast Joy and BEAUTY amongst the BROKENESS under your tree this Christmas.
Merry Christmas
P.S. Jesus’ birth was the beginning of Part 3 of the story (Redemption). There is more to unfold in Part 3 with Good Friday and the Resurrection, and there is also Part 4 (Restoration). He will eventually make ALL things new. The restoration process has already begun so look for the beauty around you now – He is near! Immanuel, God with us.
Matthew 1:23 NASB “Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son, and they shall name him Immanuel,” which means “God with us.”
P.S.S. Sometimes it’s hard to see the beauty amongst the brokeness. Here’s an opportunity to let your light shine to others. Share your thoughts, experiences, challenges or simply lend your light to this space. Your words might be the spark someone needs today. Join the conversation by commenting below.
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All photo credits Canva - except photo of manger under tree - my husband made that manger for me last year. It has become my favorite Christmas decoration.
Here a few other Hope*Writer friends with thoughts about JOY!
Just reading this now after a busy Christmas season with our family. There was beauty and brokenness and I'm glad to read this now as I process the adventure. God was there every step of the way in our family gathering. As I take the decorations down, I will pack up the brokenness and hang on to the beauty of the season which is Immanuel! Thanks Lisa!