Learning the Rhythm of Wrestling with Restlessness
Learning the Rhythm of Wrestling with Restlessness
July’s rhythm has felt unsettled, filled with both highs and lows. At times, navigating through these ebbs and flows felt like wrestling with a wave, struggling to stay afloat amidst unpredictable waters. Internally, I fought to maintain control while learning to flow with its rhythm rather than against it, yielding to the wave’s power.
On a particularly challenging day, after flailing about with some waves of uncertainty, I felt drawn to revisit the values I had marked as important at the beginning of the summer. These words helped ground me. Being sick for two weeks in July threw off my physical balance, and as a result, my mental and spiritual balance suffered too.
Here's how I worked through my values on one of those tough days.
Starting from the top of my list, I reflected on each value and its lesson for my current situation:
Honor…Today, there's a part of me that's ready to give in, to throw in the towel. I acknowledge and honor that part because it's been a challenging month. Another part of me has wanted to accomplish something, but my motivation has been low, resulting in little progress. I honor this part too, recognizing its desire for measurable success and the frustration of not achieving it. The part of me that longs for connection has felt lonely, and even some of my attempts at connecting with others have fallen flat. I honor this part, understanding that sometimes this happens, and I won’t be lonely forever.
Had I ignored these feelings, I would have remained disconnected from myself, making it even harder to regain footing.
Surely you desire truth in the inner parts, you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Psalm 51:6
Question…Numerous questions are bubbling up. Will being out of commission and losing my momentum mean I’ll have to start over? Should I quit? What should I pursue next with so many options in front of me? The part of me that desperately wants answers is settling down as I remember living with curiosity amidst questions brings peace to the part of me that always feels responsible for having all the answers.
How long O Lord? Will you forget me forever? ...How long must I wrestle with my thoughts? Psalm 13:1
Trust… Trust follows closely behind living in the questions. Do I place my trust in the answers, or in the One who knows the plans for me? I find comfort and peace in trusting the One who holds all the answers. I notice a turning of my focus from me to Him.
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:8
Relationship…As I regain inner peace, my relationships with God and with others improve. I’ve noticed that when my anxious part is activated, my focus narrows to my own issues, which can negatively affect my connections with others and God.
Movement…Embracing the questions without the pressure to have all the answers creates a sense of freedom and space where movement was previously blocked. One deep breath after another creates space for the next right step, gradually building traction and momentum.
He brought me out into a spacious place. Psalm 18:19
Energy…It’s remarkable how deep breaths can cultivate a healthy flow of energy. Rather than forcing my way through, I find an ease in showing up with renewed energy and peace.
Alignment…I’m experiencing a deep sense of alignment now that this process has allowed me to release the things I was clinging to out of habit. I feel the presence of the Lord, almost as if He’s smiling and saying, “There’s my girl…”
Service…With my focus back on God, I’m open to His assignments for today. Simply bypassing my feelings with a “This too shall pass” mindset would not have provided the meaningful connection with God I needed. By navigating through my current situation with the values I intentionally chose on a better day, I found a sincere way to reconnect authentically rather than merely putting on a brave face. As a result, I’m able to serve more effectively when I stay connected to the source of Life rather than depending on my own forced efforts.
In full disclosure, my value list wasn’t my first option. I sought distractions to sooth the wave of restlessness that engulfed me. Feeling battered, I attempted to find a quick spiritual fix with God. It was only when I wrestled with the wave of restlessness in God’s presence that I found relief for the real needs requiring my attention.
My different parts needed to be recognized and validated, and I needed to be reminded of the deep love and care God extravagantly extends to me. It was then that wave receded.
As you encounter your own waves of distress, I encourage you to engage with them fully rather than opt for temporary relief. Facing your feelings head-on helps you attend to the parts of yourself that need it most.
We all need reminded of this truth: You (all parts of you) are deeply loved by a God who disrupted the perfect unity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit to offer you a place in that divine circle
If you’ve been following my blog recently, you might recall that in JUNE, I provided a downloadable list of values for you to use personally. Those who shared their values with me received a custom-made wallpaper with their chosen words for their phone.
If you were one who went through the exercise of naming your values, I encourage you to revisit your list from time to time. I’ve done this myself on various days this summer, and it’s been a valuable way to make choices that help me feel more connected to myself and to God.
If you didn’t take part before, it’s still possible to establish your intentional values for the upcoming months. You can download the list HERE to start naming yours.
Lastly, here are some words from Paul in Philippians 2:12:
“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure”
To me Paul’s words describe wrestling as an exercise in working out our faith with truth in God’s presence.
He assures us that God will accomplish the work in us, restoring us to His original design. Are YOU willing to LET him? If you sense you’re not, remember the prayer, “God, help me to be willing to be willing.”
Til next time…You are loved, known and seen!
Announcement:
Beginning this fall, I am excited to announce that I will be hosting a Zoom discussion of a book that has been incredibly helpful for me in turning overwhelming thoughts and emotions into allies: Boundaries For Your Soul by Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller. This book has greatly impacted my journey, and I would love to offer space for it to be helpful to yours as well.
To ensure a safe and intimate space for discussion, I am limiting the group to 7 participants. If you're interested in joining, please fill out this Google Form. If you have any questions about the group, feel free to email me at lisa@lisacrowdercoaching.com
p.s. If you are an Amazon Prime Member the book is included as a Prime Read ($0.00)
Click here to access the Google Form and sign up for the Boundaries For Your Soul book study.
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Here are a few other Hope*Writer friends with thoughts on “Rhythm”
Rhythms of Life With God by Sharla Hallett
Productivity and Kids: Creating a Rhythm that Works by Ashley Olivine
Simple Is Better: When Rhythm Feels Hard by Dianne Vielhuber
https://simplewordsoffaith.com/2024/08/01/simple-is-better-when-rhythm-feels-hard/