Words from 2 years ago...
2/15/22 - I joined a “Writing Group” and we were to answer the question, “Do I call myself a writer?
”My answer was, “No. I do not call myself a writer, but as I sit with the question, I find that writing is calling me. God is writing ‘WORDS’ into my story, and He is calling me a writer… I can either argue with him or accept it.”
A friend recently listened to Dr. Alison Cook’s podcast – and was struck by these words, “Move toward: Connection, Courage, Curiosity, and your Calling.” It resonated with me as well. Those are words that tip toers can lean into.
Looking back, I realize that it was another year before I began my blogging journey. However, there were many steps TOWARD writing along the way.
More from two years ago…
“I am a writer because...
Words in the deep parts of my soul are like the water under the ice-covered river ready with movement.
Despite my reluctance, despite my hiding, the words are surfacing and to stifle them would be disobedient and dishonoring to who God created me to be.
God says I am a writer.
I have already been writing for over three decades, filling countless journals.
So, I will write. God, let your words flow. Let me write what you want me to write...this keyboard is for your glory.
Today, 2/15/22, is the 8th anniversary of dad’s passing. My daughter asked, “Do they celebrate the day you get to heaven like we do the day we come to earth?” Great question! We decided if they do, a good name for it would be “Resurrection day”.
When I think of dad, I think of his smile. For me, his smile embodied “home”.
Authentic smiles are the best. And even better are when the genuine ones are captured in a photograph.
“What makes you smile?” When I write, deep aspects of my soul find oxygen and expression. It’s as if a smile is bubbling up from a living well…satisfaction expressed with a smile...along with a deep exhale.
Dad slipped across the thin line between heaven and earth that morning when his room was empty. As an introvert I resonate with his peaceful departure.
The night before, all five of us kids gathered around his bedside and mom remained with him throughout the night.
I can’t help but wonder what the final moments of release were like. It was almost as if dad had a checklist.
· See all my children, scattered over the US, one final time, CHECK.
· Seeing them all at once? Even better, CHECK.
· Spend one last night with my wife, CHECK.
· As for my morning coffee? Probably not necessary, but I know she’ll want hers. While she’s off to get that, Lord, I’ll be ready.
The moment of release...is not all at once. It’s as if we train for that final moment, our entire life. At this second, I am working to let go of my reluctance to identify as a writer.
A part of me would like to begin sharing my words, but other parts are afraid and unsure how to proceed.
What inner obstacles do I need to let go to eventually share them with the world?
Fear
Doubt
Hesitation
Fear
Resistance
Fear
The Dam
Words – I’ve kept them to myself for years, but I sense the time for release drawing near. Today, I’ll begin by sharing them with my family...Happy Resurrection Day...🥰. Love you all. ❤️ 2/15/22
That day served as a starting point as I shared those words with my siblings.
I am reminded of these words from the Lord through Zechariah, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin. Zech 4:10 NLT
What desires lie dormant in you - calling for your attention and urging you to take a step forward? If I can make strides, so can you. Remember, it’s not a sudden leap…we simply take steps toward it. Toward curiosity, toward courage, toward creativity, and toward our calling.
What’s one thing you can do to move you closer?
And what is one thing you can consider releasing? You can borrow from my list…fear, doubt, resistance, did I mention fear?
Certainly, the small steps add up and it’s important to celebrate mile markers.
Today’s blog marks a significant milestone on my journey – a full year of showing up in obedience sharing my words in a blog.
Thank you to all who read my words and encourage me to continue. You are like God’s cheerleaders inspiring me to press on.
For anyone interested in the practice of journaling, I came across these words this month while reading Emilie Griffin’s Book “Wilderness Time”:
Here she is quoting Henri Nouwen from Seeds of Hope: “Writing is a process in which we discover what lives in us…The deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we began to write.”
She goes on to say: “When we write, we embark on a kind of heart-journey. Yet we are not sure of the destination. An act of trust is needed. We are often confronting the hidden part of ourselves. We have to be willing to meet the self that surfaces when we write.”
May my tip toe steps encourage YOU to take another step on your journey or to begin moving toward what calls out to you…
To celebrate with me, would you share a recent milestone or step you have recently taken? Or a step you’re planning to take this week? Let’s celebrate our progress and support each other as we move toward connection, courage, curiosity, and our calling together!
Til next time….
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"Lisa has a gift of offering up safe space to explore your life and what God is doing within it. Her kindness and thoughtfulness make it easy to feel comfortable sharing your heart and stay open to what God wants to do. When you talk to her, you'll immediately recognize how seriously she takes the role of coach and stepping in as a faithful witness of someone's life. If you're looking for a place to feel seen, heard, and encouraged to fall deeper into the plans and dreams God has for you, look no further! Lisa will be a wonderful guide.
When asked, “What did you find most valuable?” I think the outside perspective and having someone else be able to connect different dots/pick up on themes was really helpful! Your reflections helped me identify things going on in my mind/heart I wasn't totally aware of before.
Espically liked your writings on your father. The checklist ...made me smile and your words let me really see it. And the moment of release...is not all at once....good thoughts. Congratulations on your first full year of showing up! Thank you.
'Despite my reluctance, despite my hiding, the words are surfacing and to stifle them would be disobedient and dishonoring to who God created me to be.'
I'm find this reality to be truer by the minute.